


Figure Skating hell

by Ello_its_meme



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Group chat, Hamilton References, M/M, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, Victor spelled with a k, because im trash and i can, viktuuri is married, you can never have enough ;)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ello_its_meme/pseuds/Ello_its_meme
Summary: Phishit added: v_nikiforov, katsudont, my-name-isn't-yurio, ChrisG, music-ismy-muse, and GuangHongJi to Group chatPhishit renamed Group chat to: Figure Skating hell





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Phishit: YOU DID WHAT?!
> 
> Phishit: WITHOUT ME?!
> 
> Phishit: I AM DISOWNING YOU
> 
> Phishit is Phichit  
> v_nikiforov is viktor  
> katsudont is yuuri  
> my-name-isnt-yurio/alphatiger is yura  
> ChrisG is chris  
> music-ismy-muse is Leo  
> realotabek is beka  
> and Guanghongji is Guang Hong

**_Phishit _ added _: v_nikiforov, katsudont, my-name-isn't-yurio,_** _**ChrisG** **,**_ **_music-ismy-muse, and GuangHongJi to Group chat_ **

**_Phishit renamed Group chat to: Figure Skating hell_ **

_katsudont:_ Phichit, it's 3am, why are you doing this now?

 _v_nikiforov:_ yuuri, what's this?

 _Phishit:_ bitch it's 2pm here do you think i give a fuck. you were already up anyways. 

 _Phishit:_ And this is our new group chat!! 

 _ChrisG_ : hello everyone ;)

   _ **my-name-isn't-yurio**  _ **has left the chat**

 _v_nikiforov:_ aw _:( bye yurio!_

 _**Phishit**_ **added** _**my-name-isn't-yurio** _

_Phishit:_ no one leaves, you catfuck.

 _my-name-isn't-yurio:_ bitch look who's talking, hamsterfucker

 _katsudont:_ okay, that's enough you two.

 _v_nikiforov:_ yuuri!

 _my-name-isn't yurio:_ ew, now they're going to be really sappy. Can I at least add beka?

 _v_nikiforov_ : aww, he calls him beka

 _Phishit:_ sure.

  _ **My-name-isn't-yurio**_ **added _realotabek_**

 _realotabek:_ what is this

 _my-name-isn't-yurio:_ don't ask, it's a long story. 

 _Phishit:_ here are the rules: Don't be an ass, have fun, and make memes. 

 _ChrisG:_ my favorite meme is  **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 _music-ismy-muse:_ i heard memes and i came as fast as i could. 

 _v_nikiforov:_ oh!! I like gabe :) 

 _my-name-isn't-yurio:_ of course you do.

 _Phishit:_ R.I.P Gabe, you bork in all of our hearts forever. 

 _katsudont_ : tbh i like dat boi.

 _Phishit:_ yuuri wtf

**_my-name-isn't-yurio_ changed his name to  _alphatiger_**

_alphatiger:_ that's much better, and less long.

 _katsudont:_  oh my god. that's such a yura name.

 _alphatiger:_  stfu katsudon.

 _music-ismy-muse:_ i like lazy-town memes

 _katsudont:_!!!SAME

 _music-ismy-muse:_ YOO WHATS YOUR FAVORITE VIDEO

 _katsudont:_ "We are number one but Robbie rotten gets THICC everytime someone says one." 

 _music-ismy-muse:_ I like "Cooking by the book, but every cake is replaced by Stephanie being disgusted by you"

 _realotabek:_ i like doge. it's funny

 _Phishit_ : yo, otabek, you like memes?

 _alphatiger:_ who /doesn't/ like memes??

 _Phishit:_ tru ^^

 _Guanghongji:_ what's this?

 _Phishit:_ a group chat

 _alphatiger:_ hell

 _Guanghongji:_ oh. have you guys heard the hamilton soundtrack?

 _katsudont_ : yee, Viktor took me to see it last weekend

 _Phishit:_ YOU DID  _WHAT?!_

 _Phishit:_ WITHOUT ME?!

 _Phishit:_ I AM DISOWNING YOU

 _katsudont:_ im sorry mom, it was kind of a last-minute rushed weekend vacation?

 _Phishit:_ HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET LAST MINUTE TICKETS TO HAMILTON??

 _katsudont:_  im married to viktor nikiforov, that's how.

 _Phishit:_ oh tru

 _v_nikiforov:_ it was so much fun!! i really liked Eliza :)

 _Phishit:_ from the songs and clips ive seen i like John.

 _alphatiger:_ did u kno alex and john actually loved each other, in a gay way

 _v_nikiforov:_ yes!! it's so amazing that there are lgbtq+ historical figures :)

 _alphatiger:_ bitch,  you're a gay historical figure. 

 _v_nikiforov_ : no im not?? i may be gay but this is the fucking 21st century yura. 

 _alphatiger_ : arent u like 200?

 _Phishit:_ ur not even american how do u kno this?

 _alphatiger:_??ur not american either???

 _Phishit:_ oh shit u rite

 _realotabek:_ im going to bed. goodnight everyone. 

 _katsudont:_ oh fuck, we have practice tomorrow, dont we

 _v_nikiforov:_ woops. i must have forgotten!

 _alphatiger:_ HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU FORGET PRACTICE?? 

 _Phishit:_ he's viktor. he forgets everything??

 _katsudont:_ ^^

 _katsudont:_ anyways, goodnight everyone! 

 _ChrisG:_ good night, yuuri, have fun sleeping with viktor ;)

 _alphatiger:_ disgusting. goodnight you shitfucks

 _Phishit:_ night!!

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 


	2. Giraffe!!! on Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi welcome back folks im ur host and ur reading "Figure skating hell"
> 
> v_nikiforov: whos the king of memes then? 
> 
> Phishit: me
> 
> king01: me
> 
> monkeydick: me
> 
> katsudont: me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo ok so you should know everyones user names from last time but here are the new ones
> 
> monkeydick- Leo  
> king01- JJ  
> queen02- Isabella  
> leavemealone- Seung-Gil Lee

_Phishit:_ if u were skating and then turned into a giraffe would thta be fucked up or what??

_katsudont:_ phichit what the fuck???

_music-ismy-muse:_ why a giraffe tho like???? you could have chosen a cooler animal

_Phishit:_ fuck off you monkey dick, giraffes are cool

_GuangHongJi:_ guess i suck monkey dick every night then amirite?

_alphatiger_ _:_ why is this what i wake up to? 

_Phishit:_ gay

_GuangHongJi:_ takes one to kno one b itch. 

_Phishit:_ o tru

**_music-ismy-muse_ changed name to  _monkeydick_**

_Phishit:_ oH NY FUCKING GOD LEO 

_katsudont:_ iM DYING

_monkeydick:_ the situation called for it.

_v_nikiforov:_ what does a monkey dick look like?

_katsudont:_ sweetheart,, it looks like a human dick but smaller.

_alphatiger:_ so... your dick?

_katsudont:_ SDJHJKH

_Phishit:_ rOASTED

_v_nikiforov:_ ill have u know its not ;)))

_alphatiger_ : OHMYGOD

_realotabek:_ what's going on?

_katsudont:_ PHICHIT STFU I CAN RUIN UR LIFE

_Phishit:_ O YEAH BI TCH?? HOW?? I HAVE ENOUGH BLACKMAIL TO END GOVERNMENTS

**_katsudont_ added _leavemealone_**

_leavemealone:_???

_Phishit:_...

_Phishit:_ ok you know what,,,,, yuuri im sorry

_katsudont:_ oh, im not done. ur next yura

_alphatiger:_ id like to see you try katsudon

_**katsudont** _ **added _king01_ and  _queen02_**

**_alphatiger_ has left the chat**

_**Phishit**_ **added** _**alphatiger**_

_Phishit:_ bitch we've been over this no one leaves.

_alphatiger:_ fuck.

_king01_ : what's this?? 

_alphatiger:_ wouldnt u like to kno

_v_nikiforov:_ well fuck me gently with a chainsaw; guess who showed up! Seung-Gil Lee, Isabella Yang and *looks at smudged writing on hand* Jack-Jack Leshit. 

_king01:_ wow. even the living legend can meme. who knew??

_Phishit:_ viktor is like the meme prince ho w the fuck do you not kno??????

_king01:_ i was just added to this chat, how was i supposed to know?

_v_nikiforov:_ whos the king of memes then? 

_Phishit:_ me

_king01:_ me

_monkeydick:_ me

_katsudont:_ me

_Phishit:_ bITCH DO U WANNA FITE??

_katsudont:_ kind of hard when im ur sons husband u wet blanketed mother fucker

_v_nikiforov:_ i love yu

_katsudont:_ ily2 <3

_Phishit:_ once again, i have enough blackmail to destroy full governments, do you really want to try me bitch??

_alphatiger:_ thats actually terrifying what the fuck

_katsudont:_ give me all u got hoe

_Phishit:_ well,,,, there was this one time in college where you made out with the Presidents daughter

_alphatiger:_ whAT THE FUCJ KATSUDON 

_katsudont:_ i WAS DRUNK?????? I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING WHILE DRUNK.

_v_nikiforov:_ the presidents daughter was the ex lover you wouldnt talk about? holy fuck. i've fOUND CHIHOKO EVERYONE GO HOME

_katsudont:_ 1\. her name isn't chihoko, chihoko doesnt exist. 2. i made out with her once when i was drunk?? that's hardly a lover. 

_ChrisG:_ oooh~. yuuri youre so naughty ;) i cant believe you made out with the most powerful woman's daughter. how scandalous~

_alphatiger:_ where did u come from??

_ChrisG:_ would you really like to know, kitten?

_alphatiger_ _:_ EW NO

_v_nikiforov:_ as much as id love to stay and chat with you guys, yuuri has a lot of work to do with his programs!

_Phishit:_ aww.. speaking of which, i have 2 go too since ciao ciao is lookig at me,,, whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont actually know what monkey dicks look like, the insult just came into my head. also trump isnt the president in this fic, i dont know who is.


	3. just ur daily reminder that i, viktor katsuki-nikiforov, am a homosexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sara and mila arrive! and viktuuri children are discussed.  
> also roast vitya hour happens
> 
> Phishit: rt to sign a petition for viktor to break the internet again
> 
> bitch: rt
> 
> monkeydick: rt
> 
> alphatiger: rt
> 
> realotabek: rt
> 
> Guanghongji: rt
> 
> king01: rt
> 
> queen02: rt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitch- Mila  
> bitch2- Sara

_v_nikiforov:_ hey just ur daily reminder that i'm gay

_katsudont:_ vitya,,, we know.

_Phishit:_ yea you literally flew across the world to announce to your crush that you'd be coaching him. While naked in his family hotsprings

_alphatiger:_ lmao that isn't even the craziest thing he's done??

_v_nikiforov:_??? what is this, roast vitya hour?

_katsudont:_ yes

_alphatiger:_ every hour is roast vitya hour

_v_nikiforov:_ fuck you guys i'm adding mila

_**v_nikiforov** _ **added _bitch_**

_v_nikiforov:_ am i extra??

_bitch:_ no

_v_nikiforov:_ hah! see, there you go!

_bitch:_ you're extra™.

_v_nikiforov:_ mila no.

_bitch:_ mila yes

_ChrisG:_ Viktor you're the most extra person on the planet.

_v_nikiforov:_ um??? JJ is in the same chat??

_king01:_ i'm not the one who stretched naked on top of a building because i misinterpreted my fiancé comparing me to a statue as comparing me to their ex.

_katsudont:_ WOW

_v_nikiforov:_ smh, roasted by my own family.

_Phishit:_ v IKTOR YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART

_v_nikiforov:_ ok but how???

_Phishit:_ i NEED GRANDCHILDREN YOU FUCK.

_v_nikiforov:_ um

_katsudont:_ about that

_Phishit:_????????????????

_v_nikiforov:_ mari has agreed to be our surrogate!!

_Phishit:_ w HAT

_monkeydick:_ DUDE

_bitch:_ hOLY FUCK 

_Phishit:_ wHEN ARE U GUYS GONNA TELL THE FANS

_v_nikiforov:_ i was planning on uploading a picture of a poodle onesie and not explain anything

_Phishit:_ rt to sign a petition for viktor to break the internet again

_bitch:_ rt

_monkeydick:_ rt

_alphatiger:_ rt

_realotabek:_ rt

_Guanghongji:_ rt

_king01:_ rt

_queen02:_ rt

_**bitch** _ **added _bitch2_**

_bitch:_ BABE

_bitch:_ SAY RT

_bitch2:_???? rt

_bitch2:_ what are we rting?

_bitch:_ a petition for viktor to break the internet again

_bitch2:_ oh ok

_Phishit:_ hey guys! when he uploads the photo we should all indirectly post about it

_Phishit:_ i want #viktuuribaby to trend, ya got me :)

_alphatiger:_ i'm not taking part in this

_Phishit:_ yes you are :)))

_v_nikiforov:_ ssh, he doesn't want to admit it. 

_ChrisG:_ yura, how does it feel knowing you're gonna be a big brother?

_alphatiger:_ FUCK

_alphatiger:_ YOU

_Phishit:_ LMAO HE'S BEING REPLACED AS THE #VIKTUURICHILD

_alphatiger:_ THANK GOD

_v_nikiforov:_ don't be mean yura, you love us!

_alphatiger:_ in what universe??

_v_nikiforov:_ in this one!

_alphatiger:_ sure jan,,

_Phishit:_ PLACE YOUR BETS NOW ARE THEY GONNA BE A BOY OR A GIRL

_ChrisG:_ boy

_monkeydick:_ ^^^

_bitch:_ mmm, girl

_bitch2:_ i think they'll be a boy

___v_nikiforov:_ i don't care. just as long as they're healthy!!

_v_nikiforov:_ but i would like a girl..

_king01:_ boy

_alphatiger:_ fuck the gender binary.

_katsudont:_ guys she's not even pregnant yet what

_Phishit:_ yET

_alphatiger:_ why tf am i friends with you guys?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the wait.   
> i just started 9th grade so i didn't have time to upd8

**Author's Note:**

> Robbie Rotten video mentioned by yuuri: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwr3QQzRh7g  
> Cooking by the book video mentioned by leo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3_Dj1VjPp4  
> this will hopefully update every Saturday fam


End file.
